Word Vomit 1/29

ONE: Saw the biggest boobs ever at the gym. Like, HUGE. She was prancing around. I was uncomfortable.

TWO: I joined a 45 day fitness challenge. Essentially, next week I meet with a trainer, get my shit measured, make a schedule, and make my ass stick to that schedule. There are prizes... which sucks, because I won't win them, because there's no way I'll win the most body fat lost, or most inches, because I'm already pretty small... But I guess that's a good problem to have. I'm just looking for a team, you know? A group of people working towards a common goal. I miss having a team.

THREE: I am obsessed with the Vampire Diaries. I don't care what you say. I LOVE IT. OMG no they can't kill that person. NO. This person is one of my favorite characters, one of the characters that had the most significant, interesting character development... NOOO!

FOUR: Every year I get so much better at teaching. Every year I am overwhelmed by all that I didn't do right at the beginning of the year, and how much shit I'm going through daily as a result of it.

FIVE: Out of curiosity/boredom/purposeful procrastination, I weighed myself ten times from 3:30 p.m. and now (9 p.m.). My weight changes a LOT each time.


SIX: 

Miss, I'm going to call you Miss G, because you're such a G. I love you. You're so chill. Even when you give me detentions, you're chill. 

SEVEN: I overheard a colleague today say, "You know, it's not cold at all, it's just normal January weather. We're just not used to it. We're spoiled. It's too bad we had all those warm days." I realize that all of he factual statements in this dialogue are grue, but I take issue with the last sentence. On December 3rd, I ran in a tank top and shorts. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Plus, who the F cares enough to psychoanalyze? IT'S COLD. IT SUCKS. WE COMPLAIN. This is not rocket science.

EIGHT:  

I hope I have the energy to go to yoga tomorrow. I adored it last time. 90 minutes of a super flexible middle-aged man pressing my legs into positions I never thought they could achieve. Seriously. That is not sarcasm. I loved it. 

NINE: 
It is now three days later. I did not go to yoga. I could go in an hour, but I just got out of bed for the first time today (at 3 p.m.), and I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to leave the house in 30 minutes. 

TEN: I need to write a blog about the Burren. It is always an experience. 

ELEVEN: 
I'm sick and tired of people bitching at me when I say I like a TV show, musician, activity, or anything else that they don't like. What's your problem? Why do you have to be such a hater? I don't bitch about your likes and dislikes unless you go on the offensive. For instance, if you say, "I love the Yankees!" I say, "GO SOX" and that's the end of it. If you say, "I love the Yankees, SOX SUCK, so do you, grow a pair and get some goddamned common sense when it comes to baseball," then I'm going to yell at you because you're a dick. 

To be fair, I am 100% weirdo. If you've met my mother, you understand completely. Not only did I inherit most of her eccentric obsessions, I also inherited her confidence. I'm not saying I run around screaming that I speak fluent sci-fi geek, but when it comes up in conversation, I wear my crown with pride. There are no "closet obsessions" or "guilty pleasures" in my life. Everything is out in the open. I have on occasion been referred to as Leah "TMI" [not putting my last name so my students stay ignorant of this blog]. Whether you like it or it makes you want to punch me in the fact, it's not changing. Though I do wonder: If you want to punch me in the face, why are you reading this blog? Oh. It's because you're avoiding productivity like I am. I can respect that. Carry on. 

I don't yell at you when you go on and on about Harry Potter. If you ask me, I respectfully explain my position, highlighting all the reasons why I dislike the series. However, I will also tell you all the reasons I think the series is good (most of which revolve around my students, and how reluctant readers  often find a literary love in the books). 

I don't judge you for watching Jersey Shore. Dancer Stef is one of my best friends, and she is OBSESSED. I mean, she probably owns all of their memoirs. She even has a calendar. Though truthfully, that makes perfect sense to me. Abs are abs, regardless of the face attached. yes, you can quote me on that. When it comes to Jersey Shore, I won't explain my opinions in great detail because... are you ready for this... I don't know that much about it, so rather than spew ignorance syphoned from partially or fully-illiterate gossip websites, I just say, "Not my thing." I will tell you three things: ONE-- I tried to watch the first episode, but I couldn't make it to the part where Snookie gets punched. It was too boring. TWO-- I appreciate Jersey Shore as a sociological, cultural, historical reference point. Yes, I am my father's daughter. THREE-- I have trouble watching reality TV in general. I struggle with the structure.

So make your opinion known in a calm way, and move on. Really. 

TWELVE: 
I found a doctorate program I'd love to get into. I'm going to make it happen. Any GRE advice? I haven't taken any standardized tests since the MTELs, which are not exactly on the same level, from what I can gather. Anyone have textbooks they want to donate / let me borrow for an extended period of time?

Thirteen:
I hate that facebook groups related posts together and says, "18 of your friends posted about _____." In no way do I need to know how many people are posting about Tom Brady, or Kim K, or Christmas. I have even LESS of a need to know the exact number of people.

FOURTEEN:
Walked into work at 6:57 today. WIN. Let's make it a habit.