Word Vomit 1/29

ONE: Saw the biggest boobs ever at the gym. Like, HUGE. She was prancing around. I was uncomfortable.

TWO: I joined a 45 day fitness challenge. Essentially, next week I meet with a trainer, get my shit measured, make a schedule, and make my ass stick to that schedule. There are prizes... which sucks, because I won't win them, because there's no way I'll win the most body fat lost, or most inches, because I'm already pretty small... But I guess that's a good problem to have. I'm just looking for a team, you know? A group of people working towards a common goal. I miss having a team.

THREE: I am obsessed with the Vampire Diaries. I don't care what you say. I LOVE IT. OMG no they can't kill that person. NO. This person is one of my favorite characters, one of the characters that had the most significant, interesting character development... NOOO!

FOUR: Every year I get so much better at teaching. Every year I am overwhelmed by all that I didn't do right at the beginning of the year, and how much shit I'm going through daily as a result of it.

FIVE: Out of curiosity/boredom/purposeful procrastination, I weighed myself ten times from 3:30 p.m. and now (9 p.m.). My weight changes a LOT each time.


SIX: 

Miss, I'm going to call you Miss G, because you're such a G. I love you. You're so chill. Even when you give me detentions, you're chill. 

SEVEN: I overheard a colleague today say, "You know, it's not cold at all, it's just normal January weather. We're just not used to it. We're spoiled. It's too bad we had all those warm days." I realize that all of he factual statements in this dialogue are grue, but I take issue with the last sentence. On December 3rd, I ran in a tank top and shorts. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Plus, who the F cares enough to psychoanalyze? IT'S COLD. IT SUCKS. WE COMPLAIN. This is not rocket science.

EIGHT:  

I hope I have the energy to go to yoga tomorrow. I adored it last time. 90 minutes of a super flexible middle-aged man pressing my legs into positions I never thought they could achieve. Seriously. That is not sarcasm. I loved it. 

NINE: 
It is now three days later. I did not go to yoga. I could go in an hour, but I just got out of bed for the first time today (at 3 p.m.), and I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to leave the house in 30 minutes. 

TEN: I need to write a blog about the Burren. It is always an experience. 

ELEVEN: 
I'm sick and tired of people bitching at me when I say I like a TV show, musician, activity, or anything else that they don't like. What's your problem? Why do you have to be such a hater? I don't bitch about your likes and dislikes unless you go on the offensive. For instance, if you say, "I love the Yankees!" I say, "GO SOX" and that's the end of it. If you say, "I love the Yankees, SOX SUCK, so do you, grow a pair and get some goddamned common sense when it comes to baseball," then I'm going to yell at you because you're a dick. 

To be fair, I am 100% weirdo. If you've met my mother, you understand completely. Not only did I inherit most of her eccentric obsessions, I also inherited her confidence. I'm not saying I run around screaming that I speak fluent sci-fi geek, but when it comes up in conversation, I wear my crown with pride. There are no "closet obsessions" or "guilty pleasures" in my life. Everything is out in the open. I have on occasion been referred to as Leah "TMI" [not putting my last name so my students stay ignorant of this blog]. Whether you like it or it makes you want to punch me in the fact, it's not changing. Though I do wonder: If you want to punch me in the face, why are you reading this blog? Oh. It's because you're avoiding productivity like I am. I can respect that. Carry on. 

I don't yell at you when you go on and on about Harry Potter. If you ask me, I respectfully explain my position, highlighting all the reasons why I dislike the series. However, I will also tell you all the reasons I think the series is good (most of which revolve around my students, and how reluctant readers  often find a literary love in the books). 

I don't judge you for watching Jersey Shore. Dancer Stef is one of my best friends, and she is OBSESSED. I mean, she probably owns all of their memoirs. She even has a calendar. Though truthfully, that makes perfect sense to me. Abs are abs, regardless of the face attached. yes, you can quote me on that. When it comes to Jersey Shore, I won't explain my opinions in great detail because... are you ready for this... I don't know that much about it, so rather than spew ignorance syphoned from partially or fully-illiterate gossip websites, I just say, "Not my thing." I will tell you three things: ONE-- I tried to watch the first episode, but I couldn't make it to the part where Snookie gets punched. It was too boring. TWO-- I appreciate Jersey Shore as a sociological, cultural, historical reference point. Yes, I am my father's daughter. THREE-- I have trouble watching reality TV in general. I struggle with the structure.

So make your opinion known in a calm way, and move on. Really. 

TWELVE: 
I found a doctorate program I'd love to get into. I'm going to make it happen. Any GRE advice? I haven't taken any standardized tests since the MTELs, which are not exactly on the same level, from what I can gather. Anyone have textbooks they want to donate / let me borrow for an extended period of time?

Thirteen:
I hate that facebook groups related posts together and says, "18 of your friends posted about _____." In no way do I need to know how many people are posting about Tom Brady, or Kim K, or Christmas. I have even LESS of a need to know the exact number of people.

FOURTEEN:
Walked into work at 6:57 today. WIN. Let's make it a habit. 

2012: No Bullshit / GTFO of my life

2012: The year of No Bullshit. It's been a long time coming. I guess I've just realized that I have so little time and energy that I can't afford any bullshit.

I've changed a lot. Being a teacher makes you value your free time more than ever before. Especially teaching in my district, with 7 classes and almost no prep time. There is no "leaving my work at work" for me. Instead, there are 3-4 hours of work at home in addition to the actual teaching.

I don't take shit from anyone. I used to be nice. I used to be the kind of person who calmly explained that I wasn't interested to the guy with his hands on me at the bar. I used to be the kind of person who made appropriate small talk if the person next to me on the train started a conversation. I used to be the kind of person who did all those things and more, because I was calm, nice, mellow, and understanding.

No more. On many days, I am treated terribly by adolescents and adults alike. I love my job, I do, but when your days are like mine, you have no patience for bullshit.

This is a quote from a dear friend:

2012 all unnecessary people will no longer be allowed to participate in my life. So if you find yourself not hearing from me or I stop responding then most likely I have identified you as as one of these people and your services are no longer required.

So here's the deal:

1. If I call/text/email/whatever on a couple of occasions, in an attempt to hang out with you, and you don't respond, you won't be hearing from me anymore.
2. If you are upset with me for some reason, and choose to be passive aggressive and ignore me rather than explaining how you feel, we're done. If you don't have the maturity to be honest and open, I want nothing to do with you.
3. If you stop being the kind of person I want in my life, you won't be a part of it. You're someone else's problem now.

Your number will be deleted from my phone, and you will be deleted from my life. I won't make a big deal out of it. In fact, I won't say anything about it at all, because guess what? You've wasted too much of my time already.

Good riddance. I'm cleaning house.

One more thing: If you are reading this, and you are worried, don't be. If I am seriously worried about our friendship, I will tell you. The people I am referring to above... I'm talking about a repeated, blatant, careless lack of respect. You do not fall into this category.

Word Vomit part 3

Random Thoughts in No Particular Order

IDEA: Why don't we forget this "Make resolutions once a year" bullshit? Two days ago, my grandma called me to wish me a shana tova. This means Happy New Year in Hebrew, and is typically what we say on Rosh Hashanah, which is in Tishrei, typically September on our calendar. That got me thinking... Does it really matter when we make goals, as long as we make them? And more importantly, does it really matter when we make goals, as long as we actually try to accomplish them?

GOAL: I'm taking my life back. No more working 20+ hours a week outside of school. None of it. I need a life.

GOAL: I just watched the trailer for the Vow, and now I must watch every movie Channing Tatum has ever been in. I don't care if you judge me. I will be the first person to admit that Nicholas Sparks is a mediocre writer. But let's face it: Mediocre novels often turn into wonderful movies starring Channing Tatum, Ryan Gosling, etc.

PREMONITION: ME, CUT. I don't mean "oh, a slight shadow of a line down her abs" or "Nice legs" or "Looks great when Dancer Stephanie spends 10 minutes posing me in a bikini and adjusting the lighting" I mean CUT. I want to be strong. I want to be able to run Heartbreak and be only minimally sore. I want to use more than the "girly" weight in body pump class. I'm going to do it. You know why? First, Dad bought me a pilates reformer package for Hanukkah (HELL YES). Second, Michelle has a fantastic blog about working out, so even when I'm lazy I can learn. Third, I'm making this decision on January 2nd, as opposed to my usual panicked decision time which is... When do I usually panic? Oh! Right after the carbohydrate festival that is Passover! We were doing shots on a Kibbutz when I asked the Israelis how they stay so fit and you know what their response was? "We never eat Matzah Ball soup or latkes. Shit's fucking toxic." Anyway, get ready. I am proud of my body right now, and I already prance around looking like a complete harlot as a result of this pride. When I LOVE my body... It's going to be bikini-time 24/7 this summer.

SIDENOTE: Has anyone else noticed that once you lose a significant amount of weight, sometimes you DON'T want to wear so little? My whole life I've loved my legs and hated the rest of myself, so I became very good at dressing accordingly. Now, though... I'm just happy with myself, so I... cover up? The other da I went to a bar in jeans and a long-sleeved sweater. This became a problem when the night turned into a 2-hour dance party. This problem was exacerbated by the music choice: exclusively songs I loved in middle school and high school. Read: I know all the dance moves by heart.

GOAL: I want to do things on the weekend. I mean real things. Not just occasionally going out to bars or running. I mean GOING PLACES. Maybe I'll climb mountains. Or start volunteering with Hadassah. Does anyone know anything about Hadassah? Apparently my great-grandma all but created it, yet I have no clue what it is other than the fact that they spam me with emails constantly.