Word Vomit Part 1

Lately, I've been posting completely unnecessary bullshit on facebook. I think in my eyes, facebook status updates were always a place to display random thoughts, rants and observations. But I've been overdoing it. I looked back at my past few status updates and realized, guess what? I'm posting stupid shit.

I apologize. However, because I am a very social writer, I am incapable of keeping these pointless uttering to myself. This is my solution: periodic blog entries consisting of compiled thoughts and other nonsense that would otherwise have been shared on facebook.

Actually, I blame all the writing instruction guides I use to teach. All this talk of a writer's notebook as a collection of pieces of life has made me take it far too seriously.

Want to know my random-ass thoughts? Keep reading. Don't care? Not sure why you clicked on this link in the first place. Close the window and go to www.tfln.com .

Word Vomit Part 1: 12/19/11

1. I'm sure I had all these wonderful, interesting thoughts today but now I can't remember them. 
2. Why can't Yankee Candles be cheaper? Damn ripoff. 
3. Why do fight scenes turn me on? I wish I had a hot, jacked boyfriend who would train me as a fighter. #charmed
4. My best girlfriend is engaged to her girlfriend. How exactly does this work? More important than semantics (bridesmaid, groomsmen, etc), what do I wear? Yay, redefining gender roles! 
5. Kim Kardashian should not be famous. Barbara Walters is right. She doesn't DO anything. You know what, Kim? You should pay off my loans. I have two grad school loans with Sallie Mae, one undergrad loan with Nelnet, and my car loan is with Chase. K, thanks. 
6. Isn't it funny how certain literary devices / narrative techniques never get old? Example: SWITCHING BODIES! No matter what, it's always awesome, even when it's actually slightly silly and contrived. 
1. Dialogue Proof: "If we don't fix this soon, I'm going to perm your hair." Get it? Like, you switch bodies with me, I tell you to fix it or else I'll perm YOUR hair, which is currently on MY body because you switched bodies with me. SO GOOD. 
7. I wish liquor grew on the trees out back. That way, I could sell it to all the BU students and use it to help pay rent. 
8. You know what's really annoying? When people don't like you, so they get all snappy whenever you speak. I mean, I get it. My personality is not going to appeal to everyone. I truly don't give a shit. I'm not doing that annoying "trying even harder to make you like me and thus making things more uncomfortable and making you dislike me more" thing. I'm just going about my business. Chill the fuck out. 
9. Why am I so full of foul language? 
10. Dear Bronco, Either break the speed limit by 20 mph like the rest of us, or pull over so we can pass. Don't go 10 miles below the limit and honk/give the finger/scream wildly when we all follow the laws of traffic. 
11. Edit: Laws of Boston traffic. 
12. OMG JIN IS ON CHARMED. WORLDS COLLIDE. 
13. Related comment: Lost is awesome. If you don't like it, oh well. We don't need you. Your loss. I will not be one of those obnoxious Harry Potter fans that gets all huffy at people who don't agree. You heard it here first: If you hate lost, despise lost, or don't care at all about Lost, I respect your opinion. 
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