READ THIS BEFORE DATING ME

I realize I may not have been entirely fair. Communication is the foundation of any good relationship, romantic or otherwise, so in honor of that, I'm taking this moment to communicate the one universal truth you need to know before you date me:

DON'T tell me my job is easy.

I get it, really, I do. People that aren't teachers don't understand what it's like. In fact, I'm pretty sure many people that are teachers don't understand what it's like teaching at an inner city middle school. I'm not here to preach. I already talk way too much about my job, as do all my teacher friends, and it's something I'm working on. I will not deliver an impassioned speech. There will be no lectures, soliloquies, or angry rambling rants. Let's leave that to the experts (like Samuel L. Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction). I have nothing to prove to you. I love my job so much it continues to shock me when I think about it. I am thrilled with what I do. I'm also good at it. I don't expect everyone to understand. That's fine. All I ask is this: Don't be an asshole about it.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't say "asshole." I'm always cautioning my students against using profanity because it's vague, ineffective description, so allow me to elaborate.

Don't be an ignorant, condescending twit about it.

I will be the first one to admit when I know nothing about your job. I will ask you tons of questions, both to understand the bigger picture and what the minute-by-minute day-by-day is like. I will never make any assumptions. I will ask you first.

Just so you know, this was sparked by a recent event in my life. It occurred on a date, which is revolutionary in itself because guess what? I'm dating! I know, it's exciting. After a long (3-year) hiatus, I have decided it's time.

Scene: First Date. Restaurant in Boston area. 


Guy: So what do you do? 
Leah: I'm a middle school writing teacher. 
Guy: Oh my God, that must be the easiest job ever! You're done by 3, and you get summers off. 
Leah: Well, it's actu---
Guy: I WISH MY JOB WAS EASY LIKE TEACHING! 
Leah: Well, actu--- 
Guy: YOU'RE SO LUCKY. 
Leah: Could you lis--
Guy: I mean, whoa. 
Leah: I'm going to go wash my hands before our food comes. 
*Walks out the front door of the restaurant*

Clearly, the ETB (easy-teaching-bomb) was not the only issue with this man's personality. I'm still working on my screening process.

The message I want the world to take away from this blog (because let's be honest-- the entire world does, in fact, read this blog) is this: I have no desire to start bitching about how difficult my job is. I'm over that. If you get to know me, you'll see how hard my job is without me saying a damn thing. Just don't call my job easy. A teacher once said to me "If you know what you don't know, then you know something. If you don't know what you don't know, then you don't know a thing."

Eligible bachelors of the world, I implore you: Know what you don't know.

PS: If you're still having trouble understanding, please watch this slam poetry performance.