Objective: Dip baby corn in every sauce in my fridge on this day in time. Record results in 100% subjective, 0% quantifiable terms.
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| Awesome. |
Results:
Baby corn and...
peanut butter: unnecessary
soy sauce: excellent. salty. perfect blend of predictable and surprise. like paul rudd.
mustard: requires further analysis in combination with others (such as a tomato tortilla, cilantro, onions). potential as part of an award-winning ensemble cast (such as the cast of true blood, or the Mediterranean veggie wrap at Panera)
jelly: why don't I just eat the jelly with my fingers? I'll use my scientific reasoning skills to not even try that.I already know I won't like the combination, so I'll just avoid it. (like, ______ + kim kardashian = always sucks, so I run the other way and cover my ears whenever I hear her name)
bbq sauce: heavenly.subtle. multidimensional. Leonardo Dicaprio.
savory bbq sauce: weird, but not in a good way. like that guy who always plays axe murderers
italian dressing: quirky. like zooey deschanel.
ketchup: lazy. overly pensive. like zach braff's character in every movie he's ever been in ever.
mayo: awkward. like, jonah hill superbad awkward.
IN RELATED NEWS, when I googled "Steve Buscemi creepy" to find a horrifically creepy picture of him to post above, I realized something. There's an entire subculture around photoshopping his eyes onto other people's faces. The most popular ones are Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian.
There's a patch:
And my personal favorite:
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