Loans

Here's the thing about my relationship with loans. I love the idea that borrowing money is so easy, but the interest freaks me out. Most people are okay with it. I am not. I worry, agonizing, calculating how much more I'm actually going to have to pay back beyond my original principal amount because of how slowly I'm going to pay it back.

I know you have to pay to borrow money, and nothing's free, but I still lie awake at night hyperventilating about the 20+thousand dollar graduate education that very well may end up costing me over thirty. And although I'm prone to exaggeration, this, dear friends, is not an exaggeration. I have the loan payoff calculator bookmarked. Apple-D baby, Apple-D.

I can't figure it out. On the one hand, I want to subtract my living expenses from my paycheck and send the rest into Sallie Mae. On the other hand, what if I need more money than I anticipate. And shouldn't I be saving?

Saving is another thing I wonder about. I love the idea of saving money and buying a place. But I wonder... what good is putting away money each month if I'm rapidly incurring interest? Won't I eventually be spending all the money I save on the interest I'm incurring while I'm saving it?

Being an adult sucks.

I don't like being an adult.

• Clothes are more expensive.
• Facebook is used as a weapon.
  
• When I get sick, my mom doesn't take care of me. Although if I were in a dire enough situation, she probably still would.
  
• Some people grow up, but don't mature, and such people are not fun to deal with.
  
• No one appreciates you.
  
• Vacuums break.
• People leave.
  
• Skinny jeans stop fitting.
  
• Pants don't exist like in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
• 11% of my paycheck is gone before I receive it.
  
• I still can't spell "receive" right the first time.
  
• You get judged for asking for a kids' menu and crayons at a restaurant. I mean really, why should that particular fine motor skill be limited to children?