Excuses my students gave this week

Student: I was just dancing with my highlighter.
Me: That's my highlighter.
Student: Well we've become quite close.

***

I was looking at her photos on her binder of her hot boyfriend! You never said THAT was specifically against the rules.

***

I was demonstrating how odd it would be if people's torsos moved sideways when they laughed, instead of up and down.

***

NONONONONO We're not passing notes! We're rating the girls in the book on a  hotness scale of 1-10. I swear to God we're rereading the most descriptive parts.

***

I forget to pull my shirt down over my bum. Frankly I've just gotten used to feeling the breeze on my lower back.

***

That's not true. If he wasn't looking when I stole it, it doesn't count. That's a rule.

***

So what if I oinked? You KNOW you're just going to go tell all your boring grown-up friends about it.

--LW