The "Older man in denial about losing hair who wants to smell like a cedar closet full of newspapers, sweaters, mahogany and leather" brand of shampoo

According to Google's walking directions, it is 9.3 miles to my parents' house. I am tempted. But I have no iPod, because it is buried somewhere in a pile of clothes.

Pros:

• I have been lazy all day, so I should run. Instead of going on the super run I planned, I sat on my bum all day and read poetry. I told myself I was researching for the unit I'm teaching soon, but that's just how I justified it.
  
• I would get in better shape.
• I would get one step closer to having my legs back in fighting/miniskirt shape.
  
• Maybe I would acquire a butt. But that's a stretch.
  
• My boobs might get smaller if I run 9.3 miles, because I might lose weight miraculously, and sweet God am I sick of them.
• It will increase my cardiovascular strength.
  
• Running makes me happy.
  
• My parents will be surprised to see me sans minivan.
  
• I will save gas by not driving.
  
• I will save the planet by not driving and releasing toxic chemicals into the atmosphere.
  

Cons:

• It will take a while. Not 3 hours, because I will run, but it will take me a while.
  
• My back hurts, and my knees hurt.
  
• I am still dehydrated from that horrible drink last night. Why disguise it as a drink? Why pretend it's some classy mix of flavors? Why not just be honest and call it "whiskey on the rocks?"
  
• I am still out of shape. Maybe this is too much of a jump.
  
• I have no spare clothes at my parents' house. I would have to attend their dinner party in sweaty running clothes.
  
• I have no shampoo at my parents' house. I would have to shower and use my dad's brand of shampoo, "Older man in denial about losing hair who wants to smell like a cedar closet full of newspapers, sweaters, mahogany and leather" brand.
  
• My shoes are biting the dust. They might not have the shock absorption or medial support to carry me through 9.3 consecutive miles.
  
• I can't listen to U2!
• My inhaler is almost out of juice.
  
• I would be late, and my mom would yell at me.

Well, after all that, my mom just called and forbade me to run. I may be an adult, but you don't disobey DiAnne. Not if you know what's good for you. Love you mom. Not that you remember me giving you this blog address, but on the off chance that you do... shalom alechem.

Random thoughts: What did we do before we had loofahs to use in the shower? Really, what did we do?

goede nacht
tot ziens
lw

ps: Megaboobular, since when do you have a blogspot blog? Could you post to it, so I can read it? It would make me absurdly happy. Like, jump on Oprah's Couch happy. Ben and Jerry's naming a flavor after me happy. Pants being outlawed happy. Making it to the top of Heartbreak Hill Happy. Captain Morgans happy (that one's for you).